Jokes

We are friends, If you cry, I’ll cry, If you are happy, I’ll be happy, If you smile, I’ll smile, If you make a decision, I’ll be by your side, If you’ll jump off a cliff, Then I’m gonna miss you, idiot.

My mommy says that don’t be lazy, Be like the honeybee, Always busy doing something, But why doesn’t she realize, That I am always busy, Why can’t she see, That I do a lot of work, In my dreams! Do read this poem. I found it at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.internetdesignzone.poems

I have a cat named Kaster, he eats all day, He always lays around, And never wants to play, So we've put him on diet, He mews all day, Even though he has to starve, He still won't play.

Let me tell you about my car, Because it was a hundred years old We couldn’t travel any far It was navy blue And grandpa would keep it fixed with super-glue Sometimes it was just traveled from one lane to another And then we had to return home on foot my brother. Do read this poem.

An agricultural inspector arrives unannounced at Dave’s farm on the Hay Plain. Completely full of himself, the inspector introduces himself to Dave with a pompous opening. Holding his badge in an out-stretched arm the inspector says: “See this badge here? It allows me to enter any farm, for any purpose, at any time.” In a way typical of so many Australians, Dave is nonchalant. He lets the inspector roam the farm. A little later Dave hears yelps from the top paddock. The inspector had upset Dave’s prize bull and the bull is charging down on the running inspector. The inspector yells out to Dave: “What should I do?” {image from pexels.com, free and unattributable} Dave yells back: “Show him your badge”.

Causes of sexual Harassment Frankly speaking, the men have often been accused of sexual harassment in our society. This does not mean that women can not harass their male counterparts sexually. However, the accusation of men in sexual harassment may be true if one considers the outcome of researchers that men have greater capacity to be aroused erotically and genetopelvically than women in terms of sexuality. The mere sight of women by a man may arouse him sexually depending on the appearance of the women. Sexually harassment may, therefore, result from a kind of display or exhibition of some parts of the body a girl or women for a man to see. For example, a women who undress without doing so secretly, or under lighted but unshaded window may be sighted by men around and this may eventually lead to sexual harassment. This is to say that, at times, women who claim to be sexually harassed by men can also be guilty of the same offence because they deliberately or unwittingly, create a ...

Educated people are good at school. They memorize their course and can answer questions of the "academic" type. They do well in high school, sometimes even in college and often in the real world, but they just follow rules - even hidden rules like looking presentable, saying the right things to say at the right time. and be a good student among many. Educated people are caught up in a paradigm, but they thrive in it. Smart people understand things more deeply. They understand the whys and wherefores of seeking out real knowledge. They can sometimes see how things work on a basic level and can solve both simple and difficult problems. These people may work within the "system" ( society) , but are often frustrated by the inability of that system to effect real and productive change because it is dominated by people who put their own needs ahead of those. of the system to which they belong. Geniuses are yet another kind of people. They see it even more fundamentally...

Akpos is coming back from work. As he enters the sitting room, his wife asked: WIFE: Darling! Why are you looking so sad? AKPOS: Sweetheart, I have a problem at my office. WIFE: Don't say you have a problem. You should say we have a problem because we are now married. AKPOS: OK, we have a problem in our office. WIFE: And what is the problem darling? AKPOS: Our secretary is pregnant for us. WIFE: Whaaat!!!The wife fainted!

There was a girl Akpos really loved but he never had the guts to tell her how much he loves her. One night, at around 11pm, he summoned some courage and sent her an sms message saying, "I love you so much, I wanna date you. Please reply and tell me how you feel about me." A few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone. He was so scared and too tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the reply until the next morning when he will be less tensed. When he woke up the next day, he said his prayers, did his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, took his bath and combed his hair, then jumped back to his bed and gently picked up his phone to read the message. So he started reading:"Dear customer you have insufficient balance to complete your request. kindly recharge your account and try again. Thank you." Shared from (Book of Jokes). Download the app here https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=bookofjokes.app and brighte...

Hello guys, we will be sharing information on UAE work and lifestyle. The challenges associated with Woking and living in UAE. I will start by saying in UAE everything works, I am talking about public utilities, transportation, electricity, security, water, food, house etc. Although the standard of living is high just like what is applicable in other advance countries but you get value for money. The United Arab Emirates (UAE) consists of seven independent city-states: Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, Umm al-Qaiwain, Fujairah, Ajman and Ra's al-Khaimah they all functions independently. Each state has the autonomy to develop their city to taste, those cities are developed to attract tourists and generate huge resources, their main source of generating fund is through tourism. The UAE is one of the top ten richest countries in the world, and yet a large percentage of the population lives in poverty — an estimated 19.5 percent. Poverty in the UAE can be seen in the labour conditions of ...

I have a 2yr old Philips LED Tv . It's screen started malfunctioning and so I went to the nearest servicing center to get it repaired. There was an old guy in the reception who was the owner of the shop , And the shop has the working/repairing area where two guys were working hired by this owner. I was asked to leave it and was told that I would be informed about the problem on phone after checking up of internal parts and I left. After a while I got a call from the shop saying that because of humidity some part is not working fine and has to be replaced at price X. As an Indian I asked to him low down price a bit, then he gave me a shocking answer , which was: Person 1: sir please collect your TV from the shop and tell them that price is too high and so you don't want it to get repaired in our shop. I will come at your place and replace the part at Y price which was nearly half the X. I am literary worried about the old guy who pays the rent for the shop and hired thes...

I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady. To cut the story short, Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families. The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it. S...

Legendary Aside ! Imagine DAGRIN is alive, who would be ruling Nigeria Rap industry between him(Dagrin) and olamide (Baddoo)? And state your reasons.

A hot secretary came angrily out of boss cabin. Her colleague asked: what happened? You went inside in a happened you went inside in a happy mood she replied: He asked me are you free tonight? I said absolutely free. That bastard gave me 45 pages to typ!

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You´re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

Three  europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you. So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!.