Jokes

Just can't believe what my eyes saw yesterday evening. A Motorcyclist knocked a girl down, we all rushed to help her. While she was on the floor helplessly, with serious injuries to her body, she was shouting, "My phone! My phone!!" We thought she wanted to call her family, so we gave her her phone. Immediately, she stood up after she collected the phone, took a selfie of herself, log into Facebook and uploaded the picture with the caption... "JUST HAD AN ACCIDENT, FAINTING THINGS ON MY MIND!" She logged out and fainted immediately!

A cockroach's last word to a man who wanted to kill it "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You are just jealous that I make your wife scream more than you do when I climb her!"

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa man were lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. The Yoruba man came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples." Then the king explained the trial to him, "You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy.... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed. The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heaven and the Yoruba man asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial.&