Jokes

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Akpos was in front of me coming out from the church after service, and the preacher was standing at the door as usual to shake hands. He grabbed Akpos by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" Akpos replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "Am an undercover agent!"

Akpos had a bad attendance record for being particularly late for work in the morning. He was called to a disciplinary hearing where he was given a chance to explain his reasons. His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the mirror...try to straighten my hair, then I miss the taxi, then I'm late." His boss has a bright idea. He gets one of Akpos' colleague to sneak into his room & steal the Mirror off the wall without Akpos' knowledge. The following day, Akpos did not turn up for work. The same happened the day after that. Akpos was summoned to another hearing to explain his reasons for not attending work. His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the Mirror...See no Akpos...I think Akpos already left for work.