Jokes

Years ago, an African King was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bill Clinton. The instructor told the African King, "When you shake hands with President Clinton, please say, 'How are you?' then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say, 'me too'. Afterwards, we translators will do the work for you." When the African King met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who are you?" (Instead of "How are you?). Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked, but still managed to react, "Well, I'm Hillary's husband." Then the African King replied, "Me too."

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes. The first guy says, "I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday." The second guy says, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a traveling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best frie

A man was taken to court for calling a Honourable Senator a Pig. He was a first offender and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future. The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent judge profusely, ''Thank you, your lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call a Honourable Senator a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.'' ''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you may go.'' ''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?'' ''Feel free'' answered the judge. ''Now I know it's wrong to call a Honourable Senator a Pig. But is it also wrong to call a Pig Honourable Senator?'' Amused, the judge replied, ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as a senator. But I don't think the pig would mind. It's not unlawful, by the way. Yes, you can call any pig

A man saw a catholic sister and decided to give her a lift in his car. After a while, the man placed his hand on the sister's laps pretending he was looking for the gear lever. The sister looked at him and said, "Matthew 7:7" so he quickly removed his hand. After some time, he did the same thing again, the sister said, "Matthew 7:7" so he nervously took off his hand. The sister reached her destination, highlighted from the car and left. A little while letter, the man curiously googled the bible chapter, Matthew 7:7 on his phone and saw, "ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU."

A young woman, several months pregnant, boarded a bus and sat opposite a young man, he smiled. Feeling embarrassed, she changed her seat. But it was to no avail, for the young man smiled even more broadly when she sat down.Again, she moved to another seat, he grinned and again after the fourth move, the young manjust rolled up and roared with laughter. The woman complained and duly had him summoned to court...JUDGE: Well, young man, have you anything to say in your defense against this charge?YOUNG MAN: Well, your Honor, when the young lady entered the bus, her condition was obvious. However, that did not prompt my smile, but she sat under an advertisement that read: "Coming shortly - The Gold Rush Twins." The lady seemed indignant when I smiled and she got up and took another seat beneath a shaving stick advertisement, which read:"William's stick did the trick." She moved a third time and sat beneath a poster that read:"Sloane's liniments will remove

An old woman boarded a bus going to Lagos from Calabar and told the driver to let her know when they arrive Benin. The driver nodded.After several hours of driving, the old woman asked, "Driver, have we gotten to Benin?""Ooooh!!" The driver exclaimed, "Madam, we passed Benin 4 hours ago!"The woman cried aloud, "I want you to turn this vehicle back to beinin or else!... "Hesitantly and out of respect for the old woman,everybody in the vehicle convinced the driver to go back to Benin.When they got to Benin, the driver came down, opened the door of the bus and told the woman they had arrived in Benin.The woman simply opened her handbag, brought out a pack of paracetamol drugs, removed two tablets and swallowed them with a cup of water. She smiled and said, "My daughter said I should take two tablets of panadol when I get to Benin."