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Finding a Husband

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Finding a Husband is Hard... 1. You find a handsome one, the brain is empty. 2. You find a brilliant one, he looks too serious. 3. You find a rich one, he is respectful. 4. You find a hardworking one, he never has time for you. 5. You find a serious one, his EX keeps calling. 6. You find a humble one, he is broke. 7. You find a responsible one, he is not romantic. 8. You find an educated one, he feels he is always right. 9. You find an illiterate one, he always gets angry whenever you correct him. 10. You find a smart one, he lies every time. Where is the perfect one?
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A man and his wife were driving from one place to another to show his wife the city. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next fuel station to fill up the tank. For about 20 minutes, they couldn't find any fuel station and they ran out of fuel and the next thing was to start pushing the car. As they were pushing, the wife, looking so tired, said, "Honey, I can't anymore." The man looked ahead and saw a mega station. He said, "Sweetheart, let's keep on pushing, there's a mega station ahead." They got there, the attendant asked, "What can I offer you, sir." "Fill my tank up." replies the husband. While the attendant was filling up the tank, he looks at the car and asked, "What kind of car is this? I've never seen a car like this before in my life!" Is it made in China or Japan?" "Well," the husband replies, "it has everything. It's loaded with a power steering, power seats, powe
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West Ham's final Saturday at Upton Park ended in a damp squib, with a surprise 4-1 defeat by lowly Swansea ending their faint Champions League hopes. It also allowed Southampton to leapfrog them into sixth place, although the Hammers would climb back above them with a win on Tuesday night. "We were disappointed not to do better in that game," added Bilic. "We'd said before that the gap below was smaller than the gap to Manchester City in fourth. To be fair Southampton did a great job with wins against City and Spurs, and now they are with us." Darren Randolph will deputise for injured goalkeeper Adrian but Bilic has an otherwise fully-fit squad for the match. Meanwhile, Juan Mata is looking forward to playing his part in West Ham's farewell to Upton Park - a place the Manchester United man says "breathes English football". United go there knowing victories in their final two league games will guarantee them a place in the top four and a Champi
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