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Fruit Test
An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa man were lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. The Yoruba man came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples." Then the king explained the trial to him, "You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy.... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed. The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heaven and the Yoruba man asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial....
NEVER ARGUE
Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this my guy. A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him. At about12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks... the Wife tells him "go sleep where your coming from " and the man answered" I'm not here to sleep my dia , I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me, there'r lots of women at the party!" The wife opened the door and said "idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.

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