Jokes

Akpos going to school on amonday morning with his Newpair of school sander, on hisway he saw somtin dat lukslike shit,he was confused not sureweather it was shit or not. Hethen decide to taste it anddiscovered it was an OrIGinalhUMAN shit.He shouted "shoooo its shit""THANK GOD HAV NOT STEPpedonit" My sander is still new"Akpos is a .................

Some Lion hunters for the Benin zoo in a forest were sitting around an hut the night before the hunt bragging about their past hunts. Ofego was listening and went over and said, "You guys make it seem pretty hard on capturing a lion". They all laughed and said, "It is hard; do you think you can catch one"? "I can go out and catch two for you guys if you will take them, and I will bet each of you five hundred Naira. They agreed and off he went out into the night. Soon he spotted a mature lion; he waved his arm and started hollering, the mature lion started chasing him and he started running for the hut. When he got close to the hut he started yelling, "Open the door, open the door". They looked out and saw the Lion chasing him. Just as he got to the door they opened it and he jumped aside and the Lion went in. He slammed the door and locked it and said, "Okay, hold him. I'll go and get the other one".

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

<br>Hahaha, it reminds me back in my days when a friend of mine secured a loan on my behalf with one condition, I was to return the loan with agreed amount of interest, in two weeks time her daughter was having a birthday and I managed to be one of the guests, we sang, ate and drunk, only to realize late night her wife was staring at me with suggestive eyes. I hesitated a bit only to realize we were only two of us, then the wife asked whether was interested sleeping with her in exchange for money, I minded too but she told me under conditions, only if we could hide this from his husband, and the deal went nice, the following day I came as planned, and instead, I gave her the so said amount which was proportional to the one I had previously borrowed from her husband, then I later proceeded to tell the guy that the money he had secured for me I had returned with interest and I left it home with her wife, since I had slept with the woman and gave her whatever she demanded, she felt...

<br>Claudio Ranieri, Leicester city manager, says Ahmed Musa mustunderstand how English football is played.Musa got his second start of the season for the Foxes since making an £18m move from CSKA Moscow, in the English Cup game Tuesday against Chelsea but he was substituted in the 76th minute by Jamie Vardy, as the Foxes lost 4-2 to Chelsea after extra time.“Ahmed Musa must understand much better the Premier League, but it is okay,”Ranieri said during the post-match press conference. <br>Ahmed Musa“For me, it is important to develop all the squad and not just the 14 players. We have a chance to go through to the next round but it wasn’t possible, but it is okay.“We have to work more and more to give them 90 minutes because when I need them they must be fit 100 percent. <br>Musa had scored 42 goals in 125 games for former club CSKA Moscow of Russia, and 11 goals in 58 appearances for the Super Eagles of Nigeria.

Akpos gets into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s place for dinner and I think I maybe in with a chance!” The pharmacist gives him the condom and as he was going out he returns and says, “Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too, she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike a luck there too. “The pharmacist gives him a second condoms and as he was leaving, again he turns back and says “Give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eye contact and since she invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move. During dinner, Akpos sat with his girlfriend on the left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the girlfriend’s Dad walks in, Akpos lowers his head and starts the dinner prayer. “Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you have...

One hot afternoon, Akpos and two of his friends went for a walk. On the road, they saw a bag full of money and each of one of them suggested how the money wouldbe shared amongst them.The first guy said; "I will draw a big circle on the ground and flip all the money up, which ever lands in the circle is mine, therest is yours."The second friend disagreed and said; "I will draw a circle on the ground and flip all the money up, which ever lands outside the circle is mine while the one that lands in the circle is yours."Akpos thought for a while, and finally came up with his own crazy idea; "I will flip all the money up, which ever lands onthe ground is mine, and anyone that stays up is for both of you."