who would you save please

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Shoot Me!

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James was returning home with his salary and was ambushed by an armed robber on a deserted street. "Take my money, take my money!!" said James, "But do me a favour. Shoot a bullet through my cap here otherwise, my wife won't believe I was robbed." The robber obliged. He threw James's cap into the air and shot a bullet through it. "Let's make it look as if I ran into a gang of robbers," said James, "otherwise, my wife will call me a coward! Please shoot a number of holes through my suit." So the robber shot a number of holes through James' suit. "And now shoot...…" "Sorry," interrupted the robber. "No more holes. I'm out of bullets." "That's all I wanted to hear!" said James. "Now hand me back my money and some more for the cap and suit that you've ruined or I will beat you black and blue!" The robber threw down the money and took to his heels.
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The Rich Man

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A senior friend asked me to wait for him in an eatery in Lagos. So I ordered a meal of about N1,500 (an amount a gentleman can afford). While eating and waiting, I noticed a man in a flowing apparel (Agbada) walk in. About 50 seconds later, a man went to this man and told him he lost his wife and needed money to keep body and soul together. Immediately, the man gave him a million naira cheque out of pity (Wow! I was shocked). Another man went in crying and saying he lost his father and needed money 4 his burial, this good and benevolent man gave him a million naira cheque too! I told myself, "I can't be left out of this Bounty." I began cooking a story in my mind, a pitiful lie I'll also tell to receive my own N1 million. I summoned a little bit of courage and went to where the rich man was sitting. I told him I lost my grandfather and I needed money (I was crying hysterically). While I was expecting this man to open his briefcase and give me a cheque too, I suddenly...
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Angry pregnant Woman

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A young woman, several months pregnant, boarded a bus and sat opposite a young man, he smiled. Feeling embarrassed, she changed her seat. But it was to no avail, for the young man smiled even more broadly when she sat down.Again, she moved to another seat, he grinned and again after the fourth move, the young manjust rolled up and roared with laughter. The woman complained and duly had him summoned to court...JUDGE: Well, young man, have you anything to say in your defense against this charge?YOUNG MAN: Well, your Honor, when the young lady entered the bus, her condition was obvious. However, that did not prompt my smile, but she sat under an advertisement that read: "Coming shortly - The Gold Rush Twins." The lady seemed indignant when I smiled and she got up and took another seat beneath a shaving stick advertisement, which read:"William's stick did the trick." She moved a third time and sat beneath a poster that read:"Sloane's liniments will remove ...
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