James was returning home with his salary and was ambushed by an armed robber on a deserted street. "Take my money, take my money!!" said James, "But do me a favour. Shoot a bullet through my cap here otherwise, my wife won't believe I was robbed." The robber obliged. He threw James's cap into the air and shot a bullet through it. "Let's make it look as if I ran into a gang of robbers," said James, "otherwise, my wife will call me a coward! Please shoot a number of holes through my suit." So the robber shot a number of holes through James' suit. "And now shoot...…" "Sorry," interrupted the robber. "No more holes. I'm out of bullets." "That's all I wanted to hear!" said James. "Now hand me back my money and some more for the cap and suit that you've ruined or I will beat you black and blue!" The robber threw down the money and took to his heels.
A senior friend asked me to wait for him in an eatery in Lagos. So I ordered a meal of about N1,500 (an amount a gentleman can afford). While eating and waiting, I noticed a man in a flowing apparel (Agbada) walk in. About 50 seconds later, a man went to this man and told him he lost his wife and needed money to keep body and soul together. Immediately, the man gave him a million naira cheque out of pity (Wow! I was shocked). Another man went in crying and saying he lost his father and needed money 4 his burial, this good and benevolent man gave him a million naira cheque too! I told myself, "I can't be left out of this Bounty." I began cooking a story in my mind, a pitiful lie I'll also tell to receive my own N1 million. I summoned a little bit of courage and went to where the rich man was sitting. I told him I lost my grandfather and I needed money (I was crying hysterically). While I was expecting this man to open his briefcase and give me a cheque too, I suddenly...
At a wedding, I asked the person sitting next to me, "Have you noticed how horrible-looking the bride is? She's ugly"You fool!!! That's my daughter you are talking about!" The person responded, "Oops! I'm sorry sir. I didn't know you were the father.""I'm not, you silly fool. I'm the mother!"
Comments
Post a Comment