Jokes

Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Akpos said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey! So I changed it"

Dr SID, one of the person Tee Billz, Tiwa husband accused of sleeping with his wife have admitted that he slept with Tiwa but that was before she got married to Tee Billz. He added that Tee Billz was very much aware of the act but still went ahead to marry Tiwa and wonder why he is making story out of it now. A sure insider who doesn’t want his name to be mentioned confirm the story, but added that is what happened when you share your past life story with a failure. The question everyone here is still asking is can you really say Tee Billz is a failure considering the fact that he was the one that brought Tiwa salvage to limelight what we all believe a failure cannot do. Another insider even added that Tiwa and Dr SID were still fooling around even after getting married. Who is really fooling who here.

During Alphabet’s first earnings call, Google CEO Sundar Pichai commented that as of this month, Gmail now officially has one billion monthly active users. The Gmail app for Android, by comparison, hit one billion installs a little over 20 months ago, back in May 2014. And that was two years after Gmail became the most popular email service on the planet. When that occurred in 2012, Google reported around 425 million MAUs for Gmail, meaning the service has grown its active user base twice over in around three-and-a- half years. Even though Gmail, which launched in 2004, took much longer to hit 1 billion users, Google still has more products counting more than a billion monthly active users. Android, Chrome, YouTube, Maps, Search and Google Play each have more than a billion monthly actives. WhatsApp, the popular messaging service owned by Facebook, has also announced that it has reached 1 billion users “We’re excited to see how far we’ve come,” W

Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody? Soni goes over and asks: Akpos, wetin happen? A very sad looking Akpos replied: I borrow Rukewe N2million to do facial surgery, and now I no fit recognize am to collect my money back.

Akpos had a bad attendance record for being particularly late for work in the morning. He was called to a disciplinary hearing where he was given a chance to explain his reasons. His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the mirror...try to straighten my hair, then I miss the taxi, then I'm late." His boss has a bright idea. He gets one of Akpos' colleague to sneak into his room & steal the Mirror off the wall without Akpos' knowledge. The following day, Akpos did not turn up for work. The same happened the day after that. Akpos was summoned to another hearing to explain his reasons for not attending work. His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the Mirror...See no Akpos...I think Akpos already left for work.

Akpos was sent to deliver a chicken in Lagos. On his way a careless okada made him to fall. The chicken immediately ran off. When Akpos saw the chicken running away, he started laughing. When asked why he was laughing, he said "see this Mumu chicken, where does she know in Lagos when the address is with me?"

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked Akpos "Yes, Sir" replied Akpos."Well then, that makes everything just fine" the boss went on "after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you"