Jokes

A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

Alexander Povetkin was dangerous at times Saturday night, but Anthony Joshua ultimately did what he has done to all but one professional opponent. The hard-hitting British superstar dropped Povetkin twice in the seventh round and stopped him in the main event of a seven-bout card that drew an enormous crowd in excess of 80,000 to Wembley Stadium in London. Referee Steve Gray stopped their scheduled 12-round fight at 1:59 of the seventh round, as soon as Povetkin hit the canvas a second time. The 28-year-old Joshua went off as a 10-1 favorite, according to most Internet sports books, and eventually overpowered Povetkin accordingly. The 6-feet-6, 246¼-pound Joshua (22-0, 21 KOs) retained the IBF, IBO, WBA and WBO titles and satisfied the WBA’s mandatory defense by beating Povetkin. He also became the first fighter to knock out Russia’s Povetkin, a former WBA heavyweight champion. “Alexander Povetkin is a very tough challenger,” Joshua told Sky Sports during his post-fig...

​Money no go kill our Nigerian ladies.​ A pretty Nigerian lady got linked to a rich Zimbabwean man. On a good day for a surprise, the man sent 60million Zimbabwean dollars  to her through Western Union. Before going to withdraw the money, she took 2 security men to escort her (N25,900 naira each). She hired a taxi for the day (N15,000 naira)  and took a beautiful bag (Gucci=N35,000 naira) on credit for the withdrawal. On getting to the counter, they told her that 60million Zimbabwean dollars after conversion is N3,325 naira. No be small wahala oooooooo!!. Please stop laughing come and help the lady 😂😂😂😂😂... Wonderful weekend

A man was taken to court for calling a Honourable Senator a Pig. He was a first offender and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future. The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent judge profusely, ''Thank you, your lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call a Honourable Senator a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.'' ''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you may go.'' ''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?'' ''Feel free'' answered the judge. ''Now I know it's wrong to call a Honourable Senator a Pig. But is it also wrong to call a Pig Honourable Senator?'' Amused, the judge replied, ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as a senator. But I don't think the pig would mind. It's not unlawful, by the way...

A kid calls his maths teachers house everyday. TEACHER'S WIFE: I have told you a million times that my husband is dead. Why do you keep calling. KID: Feels good to hear it!

Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”