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Honourable Senator
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A man was taken to court for calling a Honourable Senator a Pig. He was a first offender and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future. The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent judge profusely, ''Thank you, your lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call a Honourable Senator a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.'' ''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you may go.'' ''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?'' ''Feel free'' answered the judge. ''Now I know it's wrong to call a Honourable Senator a Pig. But is it also wrong to call a Pig Honourable Senator?'' Amused, the judge replied, ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as a senator. But I don't think the pig would mind. It's not unlawful, by the way...
Frozen Windows
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Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”