Jokes

The President and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but he could not. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of stout in one hand, a cigar in the other hand, smiling happily. "What happened?" asked the President. "Well," the driver replied, "the Farmer gave me the beer, his wife gave me the cigar and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked the president. The driver replied, "I'm the president's driver and I just killed the pig."

Akpos was sent to deliver a chicken in Lagos. On his way a careless okada rider made him to fall. The chicken immediately ran off. When Akpos saw the chicken running away, he started laughing. When asked why he was laughing, he said "see this foolish chicken, where does she know in Lagos when the address is with me?"

Akpos wrote a later to his father saying "papa condition is critical at school, send money or suicide will be committed" then the father replied "condition is more critical at home suicide approved!"

TEACHER: If a person from Nigeria is a Nigerian, then what's a person from Holland called?.. AKPOS: Hollandia

One day Akpos and John were watching T.V when the news came on, showing a man standing on a bridge about to commit suicide, suddenly Apkos said "I'll bet N500 that the guy won't jump off", John said I bet N500 that he will jump. Unfortunately for Akpos the man jumped off the bridge, Akpos accepted his fate and stretched forth the money but John didn't take it, saying "I can't take the money coz I cheated, I already saw the news this morning" but Akpos insisted and said "no you can take it, I cheated too, I also watched the news this morning, I just din't know the guy will be stupid enough to jump again!"

Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Akpos said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey! So I changed it"

Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody? Soni goes over and asks: Akpos, wetin happen? A very sad looking Akpos replied: I borrow Rukewe N2million to do facial surgery, and now I no fit recognize am to collect my money back.